How Meditation helps me (and you) be a Better Human

Walking in nature meditation

Do you meditate?

Many women I talk with about this say no because they can’t stay with it. They want to meditate, they may even start a practice, but then it goes awry.

I find this interesting. Like most things that are valuable to incorporate into our life, it may take some effort and trail and error until we find our way.

This is how it was for me with meditation.

I have wanted to have a consistent practice for years. Basically ever since I became a yoga teacher in 2001. But I just couldn’t find the practice I wanted to stay with and I couldn’t be consistent. It seemed the minute something happened in my daily routine that would throw me off, I’d let it go.

I knew that if I stayed with meditation long enough it would become a habit (just like anything else we do) and I would begin to reap the benefits like more focus and concentration, less reactivity (respond rather than react), better listening skills, less tension and anxiety, and so much more.

This was the reason Chris and I made the December 2024 healthy habit meditation! It’s the best practice you can do for your overall health & wellbeing.

Singing bowl or sound meditation

So how did I become more consistent?

I joined a group. After trying apps and other options I knew, I realized I needed a little more accountability. I meet with them each morning on zoom for a 20 minute practice. At first I just liked having somewhere to be, rather than practicing alone. But over time, I found that the energy of the group held me and helped me look forward to my practice. Even when I can’t meet with them, I have a recording, or I do it on my own.

And now I can say that I have a daily (OK almost daily) 20 minute practice that really helps me be a better human!

Mindfulness Meditation

How am I a better human?

I have more patience / I am a better listener / I am not as reactive / My digestion is better / My stress levels are down / and the best part is I can see and catch my own crazy tendencies and redirect myself quickly.

You know what I mean? The parts of us that are judgy or angry or afraid. Living in this chaotic world can be challenging, and it kicks off our protective tendencies that we all have.

But here’s the thing - that doesn’t make us a better human. It only makes us reactive and blaming the world for our feelings.

So if you would like to be less reactive and more responsive in the world, try meditating for even 3-5 minutes each day. You will be surprised at how easy it is once you say YES.

Meditate anywhere you feel stable and grounded

What meditation to do?

Before we answer that, lets start with a couple simple pointers.

First sit in a comfortable position, like your favorite chair. No you don’t have to sit like a yogi, just sit so your back is supported and you feel grounded.

Next, be in a quiet space. This helps especially when you are first starting. Somewhere you won’t be disturbed is ideal.

Then, set your timer, close your eyes and breath. That’s it.

Jon Kabat-Zinn says don’t try to stop your mind from it’s thoughts - you can’t achieve this. And if you try, all you’ll get is a big headache! All we can do is watch the thoughts come and go. At first it’s like a crazy monkey mind, but over time, you’ll notice the thoughts are less and not as jumpy.

This is where we create the calm stable mind that everyone wants!

I personally like an anchor to come back to when I get distracted with my thoughts. The easiest way is to watch the breath come and go through the nostrils or feel it in the body. I like a mantra that I say in my mind. Anyway you can find to keep coming back to the present moment works.

If you’re saying to yourself - I can’t meditate, I never could. I’m going to challenge you’re giving up too soon. Nobody is good at anything when they first try. Learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, learning how to use chopsticks! You get the point.

And if you really feel challenged and can’t be consistent, join a group like I did.

Give yourself the gift of daily meditation. Try different approaches until you find what works for you - then do more of that. You will become a better human - I promise!

The link between gut health and mental health - it's REAL!

My journey with gut and mental health started years ago.

I work brings me purpose and joy

At the time, I didn’t realize what was happening. I developed IBS back in the early 90’s and was immediately treated with medication, which helped but…..

I then developed depression. Basing it on the fact I had a difficult relationship and moved away from friends and work I loved, I agreed to antidepressants which helped, but….

I would later again develop gut related stress symptoms, that made me look at what types of food I was eating. I chose to eliminate the common foods that can cause gut issues like gluten, dairy, corn, eggs, and legumes. It helped but…..

Santa Fe River

My gut and my brain were experiencing stress related symptoms, as I was living a very stressful life. The gut and brain are related. When our gut isn’t functioning optimally, our brain experiences symptoms like depression and anxiety (which are on the rise). Treating our gut or mental health without looking at the other doesn’t make sense.

It wasn’t until I learned that my daily choices and lifestyle were at the root cause of my diseases.

Dr Casey Means, author of Good Energy states: Hoards of scientific studies have suggested that diet and gut health have a profound impact on our mental health outcomes through the “gut-brain axis” as well as by the way in which our gut lining can protect our bodies from system-wide inflammation that can then trigger symptoms in the brain.

Some of the symptoms that are related to gut/brain imbalances are

• Depression & Anxiety

• Chronic Fatigue & Brain Fog

• All Digestive Symptoms

• Chronic pain anywhere in the body

• Sleep disturbances

These symptoms are rapidly becoming “normal” in our society, but they are far from normal! They are common which is different and most people do what I did - they take medication to fix their symptoms without looking under the hood as to why they have them in the first place.

For me it was not realizing how I pushed myself daily, didn’t deal with my stressful situations, and kept moving at 100 miles an hour each day, falling into bed exhausted, and doing it all again the next day.

The body can’t handle it and over time it will start showing symptoms. Especially when we move toward perimenopause time.

So what to do?

First, look at your daily choices and the way you live your life. Are you taking quiet time each day for meditation or contemplation or prayer? Are you eating clean whole nutritious foods regularly? Do you rest when you are tired?

Then spend more time doing what you love. Women have been taught to do for others and put themselves last, but for true vibrant health, especially during perimenopause and beyond, the opposite is true. Like when you fly and the airline steward tells you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.

At the heart of all dis-ease and imbalances is our daily choices. What time we go to bed, what we watch on TV, who we spend time with, and what and how we eat all have an impact on our health.

Sometimes it’s hard to see our own crazy. Sometimes we need support. If you have someone, go talk with them. If not, you can talk with me. I have experience personally with this issue AND I have education to help others.

I work through the lens of Ayurveda and Yoga, but I also have a background in health and wellness. There are things you can do right away to subside or even eliminate your symptoms.

You CAN have a happy, healthy, vibrant life!

Ocean is my happy place

Ayurveda and Sleep

This image shows us the elements of fire, earth, water, air, and ether

The study and ancient sister science to yoga, Ayurveda, has a unique perspective on how we get our best sleep. And just like all other things in life, no one person is the same, therefore no one prescription is either.

You see we are all made up of the 5 elements of nature, just like plants, trees, rocks, and sky. These elements; earth, fire, water, air, and ether are within us all in various levels, making us unique human beings.

This is why we all look differently, act differently, and respond differently to our surroundings and daily living. I’m sure you have heard that every person is unique and identified by their fingerprints? This is also true for our eyes and our tongue.

We begin to identify our unique constitution in 2 ways

First by what is called our birth constitution or Prakriti. This is our own natural balanced state at birth. Second we identify where we are now, called our Vrikriti, our constitution based on our habits, our living environment, our experiences, etc. These two states are usually not the same, and this, my friends, is where the imbalances or dis-ease originates from.

We identify our imbalances or disturbances by what is called our Dosha. Ayurveda identifies 3 different Doshas, Vata, Pitta, Kapha, which help us know our own unique state of being. I will identify these in another post. When we know our Dosha, or our current dis-regulation, we can begin to bring ourselves back into balance.

How? By using the Ayurvedic principle of “opposites balance”. A simple way to understand this layered and complex science is to consider what we instinctively do when we get hot or overheated. We drink cold water, or move under shade, or go indoors where it’s cooler. This is the principle of opposites balance in Ayurveda.

Once we know our Dosha, or our imbalance, we can start to implement opposite qualities to help our body find harmony again. It’s simple really, but can be challenging.

I love this practice as it hands the power back to us, rather than listening to all the noise around us. Are you confused as to how and what to eat, or how much exercise you need, or even what kind of work you should do? Yep you and everyone else! We can live in the world feeling empowered to make the best choices for us!

So back to sleep…..how does all this help us sleep better?

Sleep can be a lovely state of balance and harmony or not!

When we know and understand our Dosha, we begin to understand how the choices we make on a daily basis may not be the best for our unique constitution.

Here’s another simple example: let’s say your typical dinner time is 7:30pm. And your typical bed time is 10pm. You may do this for a variety of reasons, maybe you like to “dine” in the evening, or maybe you work late and can’t make dinner earlier? The reason doesn’t really matter. But let’s say your constitution needs you to have longer time to digest your food. This pattern of only 2.5 hours between your last meal and your bedtime doesn’t allow for complete digestion. When you go to bed not fully digesting your food, your body can’t rest, because it’s still at work digesting your last meal! This absolutely disrupts your sleep pattern.

Now, in this example, everyone is different. We all digest at different rates based on our Dosha. So listening to general guidelines may not work for you!

Knowing your Prakriti, Vrikriti, and Dosha can empower you to make YOUR best choices.

Does this interest you? Are you curious about your constitution and how you can make simple lifestyle choices to live in balance and harmony?

If so, book an Ayurvedic Health Session with me HERE. After this first session you will have a better understanding of who you are at a constitutional level, and walk away with specific guidelines that you can use forever to help keep you in health and harmony.

How I Manifested my very own Beach House!

I manifested my very own beach house and I’m still in awe to how it all transpired!

It all started last year when I began meditating with a group online. I meditate daily, which has been a blessing to help me stay consistent, as before I would stop and start. Yes, me the yogi, couldn’t stay consistent!

I also had a long time fantasy about someday having my own beach house, just a little place that myself and my friends could go to and enjoy.

But there was this thing that got in the way of this dream….my limiting belief that it was just that, a fantasy. I could never have such a big thing, I certainly don’t make enough money to afford my own home, plus now I live in New Mexico!

Then one day, I’m walking with a friend, who was telling me how she could have her money sit in a bank account, where she could look at the numbers on her computer, but she would much rather be in the happiness business and put her money into a beach property where she and others could enjoy it.

Then it hit me! I had money in the bank. It felt safe to have it there, but it sure wasn’t bringing me any joy! I wanted to be in the happiness business too! And that one chat with my friend, along with my daily meditation, helped me to see my limiting belief that I could never have what I wanted.

So I started to take action, finding a realtor, looking at properties, talking to people who supported my idea.

All along I was meditating, and envisioning this reality. I even drew a picture of the house, at my daughters suggestion, to help me manifest it into reality.

And it worked! Just like that I now I own a little piece of heaven near Bethany Beach, DE.

How did it work? Well I believe the combination of daily meditation and having people around me that supported my desire, helped me to FEEL the reality, not just dream it. There is a difference, and I could feel it. I like to call it being in a higher vibrational state of joy, possibility, and creativity. When you are in this higher vibration, the fear and doubt and limiting beliefs drop away.

Daily meditation is the key! Your brain actually changes when you meditate. Consistent practice decreases the area of the brain called the amygdala, responsible for our fear responses. This helps decrease anxiety, stress, and fear. It also increases the prefrontal cortex which deepens self awareness, increases our ability to concentrate and make decisions, and improve our mood. These changes allow for increased connection and possibility of what you really desire. What the yogi’s would call your Sankulpa.

So now I’m manifesting friends and family coming to enjoy this space I have created. I am renting it for the summer season, person to person, rather than use a rental company, and I’d love for you to check it out. It’s sweet, in a really quiet and safe neighborhood, that’s really close to the ocean by bike or car.

It warms my heart to think I’m now in the happiness business too! I smile just thinking about others enjoying what I’ve created, and my own time spent in my happy place.

And this is how I manifested my dream of having a piece of heaven at the beach.

My Newest Passion

Enjoying quiet time by the river

I’m writing today about my newest passion….well not really as I’ve been doing this work for more than 20 years, and combines years of experience in fitness, health, yoga, ayurveda with women.

Lately, I have felt inspired to create a circle of women, a Sangha, for deep connection, leadership, and tapping into our super powers (intuition and emotion).

A circle where it’s safe to tell our stories and be heard. Where we can enjoy a yoga practice just for us, dharma talks, meditation, and sharing time.

The energy of a women’s circle creates connection and community which is so needed for women. We thrive in this type of community. When we are or feel isolated from other like minded women, we can feel disconnected and stressed. When we are in community with women there is truth, heart, and purpose.

You may remember I hosted Women’s Gatherings in person for many years in Maryland. Now that I live in New Mexico, I am finding I want to have a community of like minded women to meet each month, to enjoy yoga, ayurveda, meditation, spiritual teachings, and most importantly sharing circle time with each other.

Women’s Moon Ceremony on the beach

Have you ever wanted to be a part of a women’s intentional group or circle? I know we all have book clubs and wine tastings and dinner parties. But what about something that can bring fulfillment and transformation? What about deep connection with like minded women to build a relationship of authenticity, purpose, and trust? A safe space where we can be who we are, without pretense, be supported and heard?

I don’t know about you, but this sounds fabulous to me!

Which is why I have created my brand new Online Monthly Women’s Gathering Circle. I am inviting the women I know to consider being part of this new group. To meet monthly, from anywhere in the world, share experiences, teachings, practices, and leave feeling nourished and fulfilled throughout the month.

Another benefit of this type of circle is once you feel nourished and heard, you move toward your more authentic self, no more pretending or over doing, or people pleasing. This is a big one for me. Only coming from a place of deep knowing throughout each month while you’re doing you. Then we come back together again to re-establish our new sense of self, what we really want, and how we really want to live.

You interested?

If you want to be part of this new Women’s Gathering Circle click the button below for all the details. We will meet each month, for a season (this first one is winter) where we build community, trust, and momentum towards our highest self and vibrant living.

Each time we come together we will have an opening circle share, a meditation, a yoga practice, a dharma talk, and final sharing. The sharing is key for us to be authentic and heard.

If you join me I will send you a FREE GIFT…..a special Women’s Gathering Circle Essential Oil Blend (only for us) and an aromatherapy bracelet that is made by a local woman who works with gems and crystals. I encourage everyone to wear it while we are together as a reminder of how we are all connected.

Our 1st circle begins on Sunday, November 12th. I would love to see you there. Questions? If after you have clicked the button with all the information you still aren’t sure, reach out to me. I’m happy to help you see if it’s aligned with where you are right now.

My message is changing

During my career, both as a fitness professional, and as a yogi and ayurvedic health counselor, my message has always been the same….the health and wellness of our body.

just hanging around on the fence

Now I’m not saying that’s not important, it certainly is, and many times its our gateway into deeper understanding, into our mind and thoughts, our emotions and feelings. These 2 factors drive our behavior, which is something I’m currently interested in.

Why do we do the things we do, over and over again, wondering why we don’t have the life we want? Why do we go to workshops and classes, learn new things, and then not incorporate them? Why do we stay stuck in our repetitive cycles year after year?

I know someone who always used to say “there just is not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do”. This was true for her while she was a young working woman, but now she’s retired, she continues to say the same thing. It’s not that there isn’t enough time in the day, but that she BELIEVES there is never enough time to do the things she wants to do.

With access to so much information we can always find the next to do list for whatever we desire. Want more focus and attention - do more meditation. Want to feel less pain in your body - do more yoga. Want to lose weight - eat more fruits and vegetables.

Now I’m not saying these things aren’t important, as they certainly are. But the list is too simple, and lets be honest, we don’t follow them anyway. We continue on the never ending quest to find the best answer to our problems, like finding the best purse or pair of shoes…and never really finding them!

Recently I was part of a masterclass where the host talked about a magical life. What the heck is that I wondered. Well her simple answer is….we can all have one if we stay conscious, become aware of not only our desires, but what holds us back, and trust the process. And sometimes it doesn’t feel like magic, but it is all the same. And you just don’t know where these magical moments can take you.

Here’s my story about magical moments…..

8 years ago, in 2015, I ended my 40 year marriage. Yep you read that right, 40 years! It was coming for a long time, and it was a good thing. Of course it was really challenging and hard, and there was no way I would say it was magical. But then….my daughter, who had just had a baby, needed my help. She asked me to come to Santa Fe, maybe to stay for a while or maybe forever.

As I packed up my house and closed my business, I realized this could be a magical moment. I had no idea what was in front me but I went on an adventure driving across the country to Santa Fe. I wasn’t really sure what any of this new adventure would look like once I arrived, but I kept feeling this loving hand on my back, moving me forward, step by step. And, my ego (which is always trying to understand and make sense of what is happening) kept reminding me, I could always go home.

I was uncertain as to whether I would stay, but I was happy to be with my daughter and her family, and build a relationship with my granddaughter and grandson.

Then the most amazing experienced happened, something I could have not ever imagined! You see I fly often, back and forth from Annapolis to Florida (as my sister lives there) and to Santa Fe (as my kids live there). My habit is to read and be quiet while on the plane, not allowing myself to get pulled into conversation with people around me.

Well this one travel experience, I met a man on an airplane as I was coming back to Santa Fe from Annapolis. He sat in the middle seat right next to me, this big tall man, and I thought, oh brother, there are lots of seats around and you pick this one! Neither one of us were talking to or interested in each other. Then this magical thing happened. A woman sitting on the window side got up to use the bathroom. Little did we know she had a dog in a carrier under the seat. Well that little dog got out and began wondering around our feet looking for her human. So I did what any dog loving person would do. I threw the book I was reading on this mans lap, and reached down, picked up the dog, comforting it until her mama came back.

After everyone settled back down, I looked at this man for the first time since he sat down. And we began talking, and talking, and talking. And instead of asking me for my phone number, he gave me his email and said if I ever wanted to keep talking, let him know.

Really? I was kind of stunned, but in a good way! I had no intention of contacting him, but again that little voice, that knowing, kept showing up saying, why not? Are you going to live in fear your whole life or are you going to stay open and experience life (ie: notice and go after the magical moments)?

So I contacted him and we started dating, cautiously at first, as remember, I had just ended a 40 year marriage, and my new mantra was I’m happy to be single living the life I want to live!

But there was something about this man that kept drawing me toward him….not what you would expect, but a slow, kind, emerging relationship where I felt safe, seen, and heard for the first time in many years.

Fast forward to 2022, and we got married! Yep after 3 years of dating, and 3 years of living together (through the pandemic no less) we said yes to loving each other forever in the sweetness of close family and friends in our New Mexico backyard.

Wedding day May 1, 2022

When I contemplate these events, I can’t even explain the MAGIC in them….and I couldn’t have known any of it. All of it occurred from a deep knowing, and that invisible loving hand to end my marriage and move to Santa Fe.

I owe it all to taking a chance, to my awareness, perspective, and trusting that little voice that we all hear, but many times don’t listen to!

Well it’s time to listen and pay attention, because there is MAGIC everywhere around you!

And that, my friends is what I’m interested in now. To share a message of YES we can create the life we want, it does take some effort and awareness, maybe be part of a like minded community, and a little quiet time to listen, but YES we can make magic and the life our dreams.

Was it easy…heck no. But there was clarity, even when it was hard. I had to learn to listen and trust my own voice, and not get pulled sideways by what I like to call the “next shiny object” (the new place to live, or the friend who seems to have all the answers, or the newest diet or healthy habit). You see wherever you go there you are! It’s me, myself, and I all of the time.

So why not create YOUR magical life? What do you need? How can I support you in this new adventure?

Muscle matters

As a woman, have you ever thought about your muscles? Aside from how they look that is.

I’ve written about this before, but muscle matters…..a lot!

When we have good muscle tone, not only do we look better in our clothes (although muscle is heavier than fat, it takes up less space), we have more energy, we burn fuel (the food we eat) more efficiently, and we are healthier overall.

young or old we all need good muscle tone

Let me explain….

The research and studies previously done on muscle were always done on men, young healthy men. Now they are starting to study women, as we are different (we are not “little men”). Our hormone structure and how we metabolize fuel is vastly different, and research is now finding that women’s health is very dependent on whether we have good muscle tone.

From Tufts University

If, as you get along in years, you’re finding it increasingly harder to unscrew the lids of jars or to pick up your children or grandchildren, there’s a reason for that: sarcopenia. Sarcopenia, or age-related loss of muscle mass and strength, can lead to serious consequences, explains Roger Fielding, team lead for the Nutrition, Exercise Physiology, and Sarcopenia Laboratory at the Jean Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts, and professor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy.

“After the age of 35, both men and women start to lose muscle mass at a rate of about half a percent per year and muscle strength at a rate of about one percent per year,” Fielding says. “For women, sarcopenia is particularly significant because the peak muscle mass and muscle strength they achieve in their mid-thirties tends to be lower than it is for men. So, when they start to decline, they generally reach a critical level earlier in their lives.”

Along with being able to move about and do daily activities, muscle is now being researched as part of the endocrine system, releasing hormones and chemistry when active, that supports our total health (bone and brain health included) and wellbeing.

This is vitally important as we age. We are not destined to be weak, sick, and “elderly”….we have choices!

This is what good muscle tone can help you do! That’s me at 63 - hiking along the Oregon Coast

In doing my own research about current science with women and muscle it is clear that we need muscle to be healthy and vital as we age, not to mention fit and active. Women will not build big muscles, as many women fear, but we will activate muscle tone for this desired affect.

I’ve been strength training off and on since my early 30’s and I would not say I am bulky and over muscular. But I am fit and healthy, have good energy, and look and feel younger than my age.

Don’t we all want that?

Some of the major benefits of muscle tone for women

• Stable energy throughout the day

• Healthy strong bones

• Increased strength for daily activities

• Lowers risk of injuries

• Decreases risk of falls

• Enhanced mood and decreased stress

• Improves brain health: significant improvements in cognitive function

• Stronger and more mobile joints

• Improved cardiovascular health: decreased blood pressure, lower total and LDL cholesterol, and improve blood circulation 

• Improved metabolic health: helps manage blood sugar levels and reduce your risk of developing diabetes

• Promotes a better quality of life

Not sure about you, but all that sounds really great as we age!

As a woman do you strength train? For years all we ever thought was to do cardio and burn calories. Little did we know that was an incomplete story. To this day, if I go in the gym, I see women primarily spending and hour or more on cardio equipment and never hitting the weights! I’m here to share the “rest of the story” so women can be strong and vital as they age.

How to start building muscle? There are many ways…..

1. Join a gym and hire a qualified trainer to get you started. And please make sure they are qualified for your needs, not all trainers are created equal.

2. Look for workouts you like on youtube. This can be tricky, but if you have previous experience and know what to look for, there are a lot of free options out there.

3. Purchase a program or membership from experienced professionals online. Again this can be tricky, but if you read reviews or get recommendations from others you can find a good match.

Here are some guidelines to consider when you get started.

Whatever you do, make sure you start slow and build up as you’re ready. The biggest mistake I used to see with anyone really, but especially women, is they would do too much and get hurt, then quit. Like when you season food, you can always add more, but you can’t take it away. You can always make your next workout a bit harder if it’s too easy, but you can’t recover well if it’s too hard.

Build in recovery days. Did you know it’s during your recovery period that your muscles repair and grow, not during the workout! #Truth. So make sure you build in recovery days. The older and more unconditioned you are the longer recovery you need. You can do easy movements like walking or yoga, but strength training needs to wait until you no longer feel sore, you have good energy, and there is a desire to workout again.

Start with 2x a week, then see how you feel. If you feel great and want to add a third day, do it, but research shows you definitely will improved with twice a week.

Speaking of research, here’s a great one! You don’t need an hour or more to produce benefits. My workouts now are about 20-30 minutes. I break up my workouts with variety (because I know how and so I don’t get bored) and I get stronger!

Lastly, remember our muscles are really really good at adapting to the demands. So if you do the same workout over and over again, your muscles will adapt pretty quickly and then you’ll coast, you won’t stimulate the muscles for continued growth. So change it up periodically.

The final take away is that ALL women need to be strength training no matter what age they are to be healthy and vibrant. Find like minded women to support your efforts. Connect with people who will motivate you and cheer you on when you have an off day. Although I don’t work as a personal trainer anymore, my experience and background definitely helps with my work. Reach out if you are interested in learning more.

What is the perfect weight?

It’s a new year and many people are interested in their body and their health, and want to make different choices.

Question #1 – Do you worry about your body weight?

Is it too much, is it too little, what can I do to be at the “perfect” weight?

Who gets to say what weight is perfect?

When I worked as a personal trainer, we were given charts to categorize a person’s weight and body fat percentage…normal, underweight, overweight, obese, even morbidly obese. I stopped using it almost immediately as it certainly didn’t empower anyone, in fact I felt it was dis-empowering.

I believe everyone has their own unique body size. To categorize us into a shape and a number has nothing to do with health and wellbeing. I’ve known “skinny” people who were over fat and unhealthy, I’ve known over weight people who were really healthy and happy.

Our weight depends on many factors….genetics, our bones and structure, our metabolic health, whether we take medication, and so much more.

So what is one to do? And I’ll give you a hint, it’s not just calories in and calories out, especially for women.

I believe the factors you need to focus on are…..

• your health (how are your lab numbers or is there any dis-ease)

• your vitality - do you feel strong and enjoy daily activities

• your daily choices and habits (do they support your wellbeing)

• your response or reaction to stress

• your food and activity levels

If you are healthy, vital and strong, and have good lifestyle habits, what difference does it make what number the scale says you are?

We all fall into this trap. I know I do. But guess what? Unless you know your fat percentage and lean body mass (like muscle), the number on the scale is just that….a number. It has no reference to how “healthy and fit” you really are.

Question #2 – should you use a scale?

Maybe…..it is a tool to track how you’re doing. Sometimes we need to see numbers to pay attention to our choices and habits.

Here’s an example I can use…..

You may remember I used a consistent glucose monitor (CGM) a couple months back as I wanted to see how my food and stress levels affected my glucose numbers (for metabolic health). And if you didn’t see that blog, go back and read it, you can find it at the bottom of this post.

Well I kind of new I was eating more bread than usual, and that I wasn’t handling my stress well (why do we drop our meditation practice) but so what right?

Then I saw the glucose spikes and I realized I was kidding myself!

So I changed my habits….stopped eating bread, having the snack mid day that I knew wasn’t great anyway (Ayurveda teaches snacking is not optimal), and started meditating again. It all helped.

If you don’t have a way to check in with yourself about how your choices may be affecting you, well then you may also be in denial!

How does this relate to weight? Some people just know they feel pretty good, they have healthy habits over 80% of the time, they don’t have other symptoms of imbalance (like digestive issues) and their energy levels are balanced throughout the day. They may use their own understanding of their body to monitor how they’re doing. They don’t need a number on scale.

But some of us may need a tool to help us stay focused with our habits. (like my CGM) But that number on the scale should not be from a chart, it should be from your own knowing of who you are and how you’re feeling, and a realistic look at your daily choices and habits.

Most of us know our optimal weight intuitively. Not the number we were when we were teenagers, that’s unrealistic. But the number you know is best for you right now!

And in case you haven’t heard this phrase before…..we are not a culture of over fat, we are a culture of under muscled! You see, if we keep or build muscle as we age, then our body naturally finds its natural balanced state.

So here is another thing about numbers on the scale or body weight. If you weigh the same as you did say 20 years ago, do you have the same muscle/fat ratio? Most women do not. I just saw someone recently, her body was definitely different than it used to be, and she was bragging that she’s the same weight as she was in high school. She doesn’t exercise, and she doesn’t have the same muscle/fat ratio, so what good is the number?

Deceiving right?

Question #3 – are you in denial?

I know many women who won’t use a scale, they just don’t believe in it, but then they don’t hold themselves accountable for their daily actions in other ways. They ignore it. Well you know what happens when you do that? You start to get symptoms of dis-ease…..joint pain, inflammation, bloating & gas, lethargy, sleeplessness, and so on.

You see, weight imbalance (too much or too little) is a symptom of our daily choices and how we live our life, and our body not being in an optimal state. So if you know who you are and what you want, you’ll make choices toward that result. If you ignore what you do, you can end up with an imbalance.

Our bodies are really smart, and are communicating with us each and everyday. What is your body trying to tell you?

As women we have spent way too many hours, days, years thinking and worrying about the number on the scale, and it’s time to stop. Lets instead focus on our health, our energy levels, our daily choices and activities, and move away from guilt and shame toward acceptance and joy.

Chris and I help women focus on how they can live in balance and harmony toward their best life. What is that for you? Once you identify what that is, you can make daily choices toward your most amazing life. And if that means your body size isn’t optimal (or where you feel it needs to be) then we help you see different options…you can create a different story.

Let’s create a different story, one of freedom from worry about the number on the scale, and live a life of health and balance this year.

Why New Years Resolutions Don't Work

Do you make new years resolutions? If so, have they been successful?

Research and experience tells us that most resolutions fail. This, I believe, is because they are made from a place of fixing something, or misguided desires, or that who we are isn’t good enough.

Here are a few common examples…..

I will start a diet and lose 10 lbs (fixing a perceived weight problem)

I will stop procrastinating (indicating there is something wrong with your behavior)

I will start saving my money (indicating a sense of lack)

We summon our will power, set goals, and imagine how happy we will be when we achieve them. But then fall short after a week or a month, and give up!

This, my friends, is where the problem lies. It’s not that setting goals is a bad thing, but it usually comes from our ego (our sense of self and self importance) not from a deeper heart felt place.

Heart Mudra

We know that to make any lasting change it needs to come from a deep intrinsic place within you.

So what I might suggest is to consider what the yoga tradition teaches…creating a Sankulpa, a refreshing alternative to new years resolutions.

A Sankulpa (resolve or vow) starts from the premise that you already are who you need to be to fulfill your life’s dharma (life purpose). All you need is to focus your mind, connect to your most heartfelt desires, and channel the divine energy within.

According to Rod Stryker, yogi and author of The Four Desires “By definition, a Sankalpa should honor the deeper meaning of our life. A sankalpa speaks to the larger arc of our lives, our dharma—our overriding purpose for being here.” 

A Sankalpa can take two forms. The first is what Richard Miller, clinical psychologist and yoga practitioner, calls “the heartfelt desire,” a statement that reflects your true nature. This doesn’t come from the intellectual mind. The resolve comes from deep within us, directly out of the mystery of who we ultimately are. It then informs our mind of a particular direction that we need to take, or are taking in our life.

The second form is that of a specific intention. Setting specific intentions can help you align your moment-to-moment daily choices with your heartfelt desire. Look forward into the next year and ask yourself what specific things need to happen to move you forward on your path. Your specific Sankalpa will describe what you need to do, and where you need to direct your energy, to make progress on your larger life goals.

This second Sankulpa can look like a new years resolution, with one big difference. New years resolutions again mostly come from the ego, from a place where we feel lack or don’t feel good enough. Sankulpa by its definition, comes from a deep place within you, your heart. You know it to be true, you don’t have to create it in your mind.

In order to connect to your Sankulpa, your true nature and desire, you need stillness, to get quiet and listen. Ask the question – what is my life purpose? This answer is as individual as you are. It is already there, you just need to discover it.

A Sankulpa is a statement of deeply held fact, and a vow that is true in the present moment.

For this reason, your Sankalpa—both the heartfelt desire and the specific intention—should be stated in the present tense.

Rather than saying I will lose 10 lbs – you could say I feel my best and have the most energy 10 lbs lighter.

When your Sankulpa is complete, you can recall it throughout each day, helping you remember your true calling and desire.

Once you have identified and planted the seed of your Sankulpa, you can begin the process of strengthening sankulpa shakti, the energy to take the action required by your resolve. This is not will power but a desire to move toward your dharma.

So if your deepest desire is to feel healthier and more vital at 10 lbs lighter - each decision you make takes you closer to that resolve. Another way to say this is every conscious choice you make is an opportunity to strengthen sankulpa shakti.

The Sankulpa really describes who we are and how we move in the world when we’re in harmony with ourselves. This is a beautiful way to live our lives – with intention and resolve.

Let 2023 be the year of deep discovery, deep desire and intention, and to live your life’s purpose!

Getting to Know Yourself a Little Better

Reflection time

Do you think you know yourself?

This question has always been curious to me, how can I not know myself? Of course I know myself!

Well maybe not…..

Here’s a story about me that I can share to help us understand.

I HAD (happy to say) IBS for years during my 30’s and 40’s. It was irritating at best, debilitating at worst. Some days I just couldn’t work or function. As a fitness professional, this was an issue, being bloated and in pain most of the time.

So, off to the doctors I went and they put me on a drug that relaxed my colon so I wouldn’t have spasms. I didn’t really care what it was (the name escapes me at the moment) all I cared about was getting relief.

Can you relate?

And I went on like this for quite some time, not caring or understanding why I had IBS, just that the medication worked!

Then one day it stopped working. You see the imbalance that was at the root of the issue was never discovered or went away. But I didn’t know this at the time!

So I started investigating my choices and habits. I mostly focused on food as that is what I “thought” was the issue. Well I found that most of the foods I ate were problematic. The foods (at that time) that were supposed to be good for you, really didn’t work for me. I couldn’t find a doctor that could help me, so I just kept on doing the best I could.

This is where “getting to know yourself” is important.

You see what I didn’t know was how stressed out I was. I was working full time as a fitness professional (which I loved) raising 2 kids, and in a not so great marriage. Trying to “make my marriage work” along with all the other stressors, was just too much for my body to handle. So my “gut” was trying to tell me to shift, make a change, don’t keep doing the same things you always do.

Our gut is really smart, it has more neurons than our brain, and will many times be the first part of our body to communicate that something isn’t right.

So once I realized it was stress – now what????

This is where the harder part of knowing yourself comes in. You see, once you know something you can’t unknow it. Once you see something you can’t unsee it. So we have to make choices. We can either ignore our information, continue to do the same things we always do, and continue to move more and more out of balance. Or we can start to pivot, and see if a little shift helps bring us back toward balance.

And if you don’t already know….continued imbalance over time leads to dis-ease!

Getting to know yourself on a deep level, then doing something about it, takes courage. But the outcome can be very profound! We have the power to change and create the life we want, whether it is in our current situation, eating different foods, or completely changing our environment.

Isn’t that amazing? We don’t have to be victims of our situation.

So the end of my story is that once I started to understand myself on a deeper level, I started to make different choices, and over time, I healed my gut, changed my environment, got support, and today I’m so much healthier.

We can do this! All we have to do is stop, take a pause, breath, and check in. Getting support really does help. Other people can see things we can’t. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have amazing strong women around me, supporting me, helping me see what I couldn’t.

This is why I think I love creating programs for women. Whether it be the annual Women’s Gathering that I hosted for almost 20 years, or my workshops and yoga retreats, or my private and group classes. My audience is and always has been women.

Are you interested in being connected with like minded women for support, guidance, fun?

If so, keep an eye out for my 2023 offerings…here are just a couple coming up

The Power of Muscle - coming in January, this course teaches women what muscle is and why it’s important to have as we age. Each session incorporates part lecture with part activity. Each week you’ll learn a different way to build muscle safely and by the end of the 4 weeks, you will not only have a new habit, you will be on your way to healthier living.

Yoga and the Santa Fe river

The Enchanted Yoga Retreat for Women - coming in April, this retreat experience in Santa Fe NM. otherwise known as the “land of enchantment” will give you the opportunity to get to know yourself, the culture, and the environment on a deeper level. This very special retreat will be like nothing you have experienced before. I’m finalizing details now, so watch for my announcement in the beginning of the year.

Lastly you can join the private FB group - Empowered Living: Self Care for Women through Yoga and Ayurveda. Hosted by myself and Chris Lean, we post weekly about simple things we can do for self care. Hope to see you there.